


The Judge's Test

by Lunah_Peixvey



Category: Homestuck, The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/M, I also loved the Judge's test in s2e11, Not Beta Read, This was written at 3 am, basically a rewrite of that scene but i didn't like, because i love fake lovers and fake outs like that, i'm a lesbian and gay and tired so this isn't good, lift total phrases from it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 19:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17209157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunah_Peixvey/pseuds/Lunah_Peixvey





	The Judge's Test

As she walks through the door, Meenah is met with the same room. A glance to her left found her again next to Kankri. Their hands moved together, squeezing and she opened her mouth to say something when her non-words were interrupted.

“Congratulations!” Gen waved her hands, jumping off of her desk as she strolled towards them, “You’ve already passed your test!”

“What?” The words came from Meenah’s mouth before she could stop them.

“You two have made so much progress in your time in the fake Good Place, that you have fully redeemed your souls. You can pass onto the actual good place.” The Judge paused, “Latula and Mituna...have failed their tests. So I’d reconsider the whole...we all go or none of us go thing, because if all of you go then all of you are going to the Bad Place.”

The smile that had slowly crept onto Meenah’s lips fell, “What?”

The Judge pulled out two small Buttons out and handed them to Meenah and Kankri, “Press these buttons to go to the Good Place, but you will be leaving your friends behind.” And with a small ding, she was gone. And Meenah and Kankri were alone.

“This...this has to be our test right? This is the moral quandary we’re going to be forced to tackle and q-...quander.” Kankri stuttered at the last word.

“She probably gave Mituna and Latula the same thing! So whoever takes it goes to the bad place.”

“Diabolical!”

“That’s not it.” The Judge was there again, and then she was gone.

“O-ookay, so that settles that idea. Let’s try to use philosophy to figure this out.” Kankri sighed, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Oh! Oh! I know that sigh! It’s your moral quandary grimace, which is different from your stomach ache sigh and both of those are different from you ‘someone made a common grammar mistake’ groan.”

Kankri chuckled, his hand already on his chin, “You know me, but did you know that in this situation Kant would find this a rather interesting theory.”

The two talked, and paced, and grimaced, and sighed. It was almost an entire hour since the Judge had given them their original dilemma.

“We have tried almost every single way of looking at this! Contractualist, Kantian, what would Superman do, what would Rihanna do, what could we possibly have forgotten?” Meenah rubbed her hands together, stopping her pacing to turn to Kankri, “Alright! Let’s pull out the big guns. Give me the whitest, boringest, beardiest man you can!”

“Well, if we go by Hobbes, then I think we’re free to go. You see, our friends are going to the Bad Place regardless, and our going wouldn’t lessen their suffering and instead increase our own. Morally, we would be free to go.”

“Where’s the but?”

“But I think...it’s time we stop thinking about philosophy.” Kankri slowly moved towards her, “After everything that's happened, don't we deserve to be together and happy for once? Don’t we deserve a happy ending, Meenah? We’ve gone through 802 resets of the same life, of the same afterlife. After all of our torture at the hands of Michael and Vicky, don’t we deserve some actual good news.”

By the time he finished, he was close enough for Meenah’s hand to rise up to cup his cheek, “You’re not my Kankri.”

The confusion in Kankri’s eyes almost hurt Meenah’s heart, almost, “Meenah, what do you mean? Of course I’m your Kankri!” There was a huff-chuckle that tried to pull at Meenah’s heartstrings.

“My Kankri wouldn’t want to be rewarded while his friends suffered, and my Kankri wouldn’t wanna just ‘stop thinking about philosophy’ for a second.” There was a quiet rage in her eyes, rage at almost falling for it. For having her heart leap at the thought of a life in Heaven with Kankri, but no. But of course not. “JUDGE LADY!” She called, whirling away from Kankri to glare at the judge’s desk.

She was there, without any sound or movement, “Yes Meenah?” Enigmatic red eyes hidden behind red glasses that Meenah wanted to punch off of her face.

But this will be the one time that Meenah does not punch a judge. “I know your game, I know my test, and we’re not going to the Good Place because this test is fake and that is not Kankri.”

“Meenah, I don’t know why you keep saying that I’m not Kankri.”

She ignored him, forcibly turning her face towards the Judge, “I dunno who this fucker is, but it is not Kankri Vantas.”

The Judge’s lips twisted into a soft smile, and then there were chairs in front of her, “Well done, Meenah, you’ve passed your test. Please. Take a seat.”

And she does. And all she can do is wait and hope and pray.


End file.
